I did it! *Yaye* and I did it! *sigh* Mixed emotions, convoluted thoughts, confusion and a sense of vague unpredictable clarity. Today I am spilling words about on a page, any words that come to my mind. Don’t know if it must necessary describe my thought process, but those are the words inside my head this instant.
So I am still trying to figure out whether yesterday is a dream. All I remembered was standing next to a Mary statue in Long Beach, asking for strength, strength to spill it out rather to keep it all built up inside, the strength to accept the answer that intuitively I have known, but just need a confirmation on, and the strength to continue on the road after. And then, after that, it all came, everything, all at once, just talk, after talk, after talk … we talked and talked and talked, like a shrink … we said “I felt …,” “I think …” “You made me…” “I was uncomfortable …” in a pure shrink style. Back to back shrink, it’s 3 and then there were two.
I am emotionally drained. Not tired, but I need today to regroup, rethink, reanalyze, and reassess. Too soon to see what God has planned, but this will definitely bring me closer to God, seek more of his help … cuz God, boy, do I need you today.
I should’ve gone to work, but I didn’t. I am at home, in bed, cooking my own thoughts.
But the mantra today is probably the phrase …”I hope …” I hope things goes well, I hope they can go back to normal … I hope I can go back to normal … I hope …
There’s much to say, and yet there are too little, too miniscule for me to say it. My thoughts are running as fast as a light, so fast to where I can’t catch up with is as a I type. Though I want to spill it on a page, it just too much and then it’s too little where I have nothing much to say … what a juxtapose of emotions.
Wellness Level down, but expected to rise. Concerns unclear.